The angry child

I feel like I'm being punished for the choices I have made

I just don't get it, I cleared my shit, so I could enjoy more

But instead, I'm burdened with your stress and pain

The only thing that clears my head is brightness all around

If I can must up that light then surely you are letting me down

With all my might I can carry myself but it's others breaking my back

without support and active listening I feel like I don't exist

Why should when I feel dammed because I didn't have any kids

I haven't felt I've had an awful lot of choice with things

but I use what I can and I try my best, nothing really gets seen

I'm broken and I at least expected, to feel a bit more than this

Empty vessels float around but they can't really see

A massive collective let down, that's what I fight each day

Looking for an ounce of sympathy, it's never coming my way.

I hate that voice of sympathy because its doesn't work

a few moments while I start to feel better so much more is asked of me

The cycle of spinning I can't stop, no matter how hard I try to be free

This maddening voice just screams from the dark, do more you are not enough

These feelings come from somewhere else because they are not me!

Don't tell anyone you have come undone, just get on and work on me

My soul screams out for some compassion some simple words of hope

But everywhere I turn for that, just fails and makes me hurt

There was magic and loads of hope but now that I am weak

It feels I need to start again coz the troubles started with my sleep

Hurt doesn't come in words or actions it comes from total disgrace

A lack of compassion and understanding hurts us in our wake

So sleep away the demons and prepare to dumb down yourself

You can't survive a moment longer, trapped like this...

The future is uncertain but for some its a scary thought

It could be life and death that someone ponders about

THe faith is strong in ones like that and they will always survive

but what are the people around them doing? Continuing with their lives

I'm sorry my art is not pleasing you. I'm sorry your brain works so fast

If you can't sit still for just a moment, I didn't cause that draft

I'm not here for pure entertainment if I was I would change my ways

I'm here to show you how I work, I'm more complicated in that way

I'm feeling quite rejected and I'm not ashamed to say

I'm filled with sunshine hope and love and kindness to give away

If no one around can see my light I don't need to change my canvas

Maybe some need to consider I'm not doing this all for fun

Someone I knew laughed at me, they laughed hard at my idea

But inside I was feeling supremely angry that, they could see or feel

Would you laugh at your own mother, your sister or best friend?

No you wouldn't, you'd think twice! So why treat others like this

Art is really funny, it's like giving away yourself for free

but people don't seem to get that, what's the point if no one can see

The simple things I embraced in life, when I was so much younger

Are now just starting to come to light, it frustrates me with bitter anger

Today I sat and started to write, it felt like far less work

Not for me but for the reader, something tangible set in words

I'm asked to explain my art instead I show my process

This is my journey, this is my art... Just because I don't follow a process

One that others can clearly see, it doesn't work like that

Think about where you are... was there one thing that made you that?

Of course not! Life is fluid and that's how my art shall be

It won't reflect this time and now nor am I aiming to please

TO me this type of writing is a special kind of art

Nothing magical in what I say unless you listen with an open heart

Not everyone can fit in boxes of that we ALL agree

So why did you think my art would be any different than me?

I'm struggling with a little block

I'm not sure what to do...

Is it a block or do I just fear

What's inside that I don't want to tell

The purest art comes from the heart

and that's quite hard to share

I feel like people are looking deeper

but not knowing its all really there

It's not that hard, it's not a puzzle

it's directly from my head

I can pretty it up

but your our of luck

Coz today I don't feel like 

I want to share

Tomorrow is bright

and I have a good plan

So tonight will melt away slowly

for now it's what I am

ANd I'm doing the best I can

We all must try, even I

Dancing when we can